4/21/2004

Emergency Festa's Rant: American Idol

I am a firm believer that the phrase "all men are created equal"
1) applies to both men and women
2) Has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

Hericlitus once asserted that "apathy can be cured, ignorance corrected, but STUPID is forever." What happened on American idol tonight was nothing but complete and utter SHEER STUPIDITY on the part of the Amerian public.

As I mentioned in my post below, the only reason Kim Bauer has not been killed off on 24 is because of her "bouncy bounce" (not my phrase). Males aged 18-24 love that "bouncy bounce" and they want to see it week in and week out. Mind you that these are the very same people who forget that she was MAULED BY A COUGER because she got caught in a COUGER TRAP when a NUCLEAR BOMB WAS ABOUT TO GO OFF. These men are what Aristotle calls "talking vegetables," they are so incapable of reason that they ontologically have the same reasoning powers as a carrot. (OK OK, I enjoy Kim Bauer. I want her to die, but I love seeing that "bouncy bounce." Why do I do the evil I abhor?????)

Well, apparently the women are capable of pretty much the same thing, as evidenced by American idol. First, this John Peter Lewis business. For those who are unaware, JPL is a hideous singer, a bad dancer, and a moron. Yet because of his "dark eyes" and spasmic "belly pushes" he somehow managed to make it not only into the American Idol Top 12 but survived for 5 whole weeks tormenting every good natured and decent living creature in the known universe. The day of his release from the show was pure ecstasy.

So one would think that people finally came to their senses and would actually vote for people with talent greater than a screeching cat on heroine. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the very same people who voted for the moron turned around and voted for the single WORST FRANK SINATRA IMPERSONATOR in the history of civilized humanity. As a result of this Jennifer Hudson, one of the 3 (or 4) best singers in the competition, was voted off and the American people now have to listen to a mediocre Frank Sinatra impersonator sing "Baby, why don't you be mine" for another week. God, give me justice!!!!!

Anyway, back to the assertion that all men are created equal. As I said before, this phrase applies to both men and women. BOTH men and women are capable of being talking vegetables.

God have mercy.